How to overcome internal barriers. Abstract: Barriers to communication and ways to overcome them in the field of management

A person, as an element of communication, is a complex and sensitive “recipient” of information, with his own desires, feelings, and life experiences. The information he receives may cause an internal reaction of any kind that may amplify, distort, or completely block the information sent to him.

The adequacy of information perception largely depends on the presence or absence of communication barriers in the communication process. If a barrier arises, information is distorted or loses its original meaning, and in some cases does not reach the recipient at all.

As follows from the first general principle of communication, a barrier prevents effective communication subjective interpretation meaning of information. This barrier arises because any message received is refracted through the prism of the personal experience of the communication partner, his education, origin, knowledge, inclinations, prejudices, hopes, fears, likes and dislikes, desires and expectations at the time of information transfer. As a result, a person hears not what was said, but what he thinks what was said. The communicator believes that if he understands what he intends to say and conveys it to others, then they will interpret his words in exactly the same way. To destroy this barrier, it is necessary to clarify how the meaning of what was said is understood.

The third general principle of communication draws attention to the fact that the barrier to communication is often psychological phenomenon of perception of the communicator himself and attitude towards him: the feeling of distrust and hostility that the communicator evokes is transferred to the information he communicates, which is not perceived as significant. The authority of the communicator in the eyes of his partner plays a huge role in the emergence of a barrier. The higher the authority, the fewer obstacles to the assimilation of the proposed information, and vice versa - low authority causes reluctance to listen to his opinion (“eggs don’t teach a chicken”).

In addition to these communication barriers, the following communication barriers are identified.

Barriers of socio-cultural differences between communication partners. Social, political, religious and professional differences can and do lead to different interpretations of certain concepts and ideas in the transmitted message.

Barriers of misunderstanding include phonetic, stylistic, semantic and logical barriers.

Phonetic the barrier is associated with speech impairments, which include:

• too quiet speech, caused by a combination of excitement and improper breathing, in which it is difficult to hear even at a distance of several meters. If the message is not of particular importance to the interlocutor, then he will not listen. Even if the communication partner is sufficiently interested, the likelihood of misunderstanding is obvious;
• speaking too quickly: when the communicator drums out his message, it makes it difficult for listeners to follow the thought, especially when reading text;
• too monotonous speech that lulls attention;
• noticeable pauses: “uh...uh”, “well”, “known”;
• Word swallowing: The fading of the voice at the end of a sentence makes it more difficult for listeners to hear each word, increasing the risk of errors.

Semantic barrier misunderstanding is associated with differences in the meaning systems (thesauri) of the participants in communication. This is a more general problem than the problem of jargons and slangs. Very often, misunderstanding arises due to the fact that different meanings are given to the same word and disputes arise that do not have an objective basis, but are associated with different understandings of the meaning. To verify this, you can ask several people what an idealist is. Some will say that he is a man with ideals, while others will say that he is a supporter of idealism. Both TS and others will be right. Words have multiple meanings, and the thesauruses of the participants in communication are different. It is necessary to constantly clarify what meaning the interlocutor puts into this or that term.

Stylistic barrier misunderstandings can disrupt normal interpersonal communication. It occurs when there is a discrepancy between the communicator’s speech style and the communication situation or the speech style and the current psychological state of the communication partner. Thus, a scientific style of speech is inappropriate in a working audience, while an official business style of speech is inappropriate in a situation of confidential conversation.

Logical barrier misunderstanding occurs in cases where the logic of reasoning proposed by the communicator seems incorrect to his communication partner, contradicts his inherent manner of evidence, or is too complex for him. In psychological terms, we can talk about the existence of many logics and logical systems of evidence. There are “male” logic, which basically corresponds to formal logic, the beginning of which was laid by Aristotle, and “female” logic, which does not coincide with it, but is logical in its own way. Research into female logic in psychology is just beginning. To study it, you can refer to the work of D. V. Beklemishev “Notes on Women’s Logic.”

Emotional barriers arise when, having received information from a communicator, a person is more preoccupied with his feelings and assumptions than with real facts. Words have a strong emotional charge; they even speak of the energy of the word. They generate associations that cause an emotional reaction. To overcome this barrier, there are a number of psychotechniques, one of which is presented in the work of N. Kozlov “Formula for Success” - “Calm Presence” - a look at the situation, cleared of emotions, ambitions, addictions, when a person sees what is in front of him and hears what , what is said.

You need to not only know the main barriers to communication, but also learn how to successfully overcome them.

Moscow State Forest University

Department of Russian Language and Literature

Abstract on the topic:

completed by: student of group PM-21

Sikder E.A.

Checked by: senior teacher

Arakelyan S.S.

Moscow 2011

Introduction

Barriers to interaction

3. The influence of personality types on the attitude of partners

4. Barriers to perception and understanding

5. If you encounter bad manners and rudeness

6. Techniques of “detachment”

7. How to overcome communication barriers

8. References

Barriers to communication and overcoming them

INTRODUCTION

Communication is interaction for the purpose of exchanging information. But in the process of communication, we convey not information, but a message in the form of symbols: words, gestures, intonation. The perception of information depends on how the interlocutor understands these symbols. Ideally, both interlocutors attach the same meaning to words, but this does not always happen.

Barriers to interaction

Motivational barrier occurs if partners have different motives for entering into contact (development of a common cause - immediate profit).

A separate situation is the conclusion of a transaction or business agreement in which each partner pursues his own goals of entering into contact. To ensure that none of the partners feels “offended” after concluding an agreement, it is necessary to find a solution that satisfies the interests of both parties. Such a solution is found through negotiations.

Ethical barrier occurs when interaction with a partner is hampered by a moral position that is incompatible with yours. Everyone decides for themselves to compromise. But trying to re-educate or shame a partner is not recommended.

Communication style barrier. As you know, each person has his own communication style. It depends on a person’s temperament, his character, his worldview. Communication style is formed under the influence of upbringing, environment, and profession.

The predominant motive of communication (interaction, self-affirmation, emotional support, etc.);

Attitude towards other people (gentleness, goodwill, tolerance or harshness, rationalism, egocentrism, etc.);

Attitude towards oneself (narcissism, recognition of one’s shortcomings, defending the “honor of the uniform”, imposing one’s opinion, etc.);

The nature of the influence on people (pressure, coercion, manipulation, cooperation, personal example, non-interference).

The external manifestation of style is the manner of behavior and characteristics of speech, the intensity and very nature of a person’s communication.

If a person is business-oriented, he tries not to waste time, is collected, organized, and values ​​business qualities in people. They talk about this - a business man, he has business style. At the same time, in business communication one can distinguish partner and non-partner communication styles.

Affiliate communication style means a high degree of cooperation in developing a common portion on the required issue.

At non-partner style of communication, a person listens inattentively or allows himself not to be listened to, ignores the interlocutor’s point of view or unconditionally accepts it, imposes his own solution to a problem or asks for advice, encourages a partner to take immediate action or acts rashly himself, in a word, there is no cooperation.

Based on the degree and nature of interference in the activities and behavior of another person, the following communication styles can be distinguished:

altruistic– a person strives to please people, helps them achieve their goals;

manipulative– means of influence, pressure, coercion are used in communication;

missionary– the partner strives to maintain a distance in communication, observes non-interference in the interlocutor’s judgment, and uses personal examples.

The influence of personality types on the attitude of partners

The following positions of the individual in relation to the partner can be distinguished:

Flexible type– characterized by a high need for another person, for maximum psychological distance, the need to be loved, to feel approval, attention.

Aggressive tpi– perceives the other person as a rival.

Business type. The world of business is dominated by people for whom the interests of the business are above all, and in relation to a communication partner they proceed from how useful this person can be.

Barriers to perception and understanding

Aesthetic barrier– occurs if the partner is untidy, sloppily dressed, the situation in his office, the appearance of his desk is not conducive to conversation.

Social status may interfere with comfortable communication, especially if one of them is used to being in awe of superiors.

Barrier of negative emotions occurs when communicating with an upset person.

Health status a person, physical or spiritual, also affects how he communicates and in people suffering from various neuroses, high blood pressure, gastritis, experiencing personal turmoil or depression, it can serve as an obstacle to productive communication.

Psychological protection, built by your partner is one of the serious barriers to communication. Perhaps your indifferent, unfriendly, taciturn colleague or other, prickly, like a hedgehog, needs not condemnation, but understanding, inner sympathy?

Installation barrier. Your business partner may have a negative attitude towards the company or organization of which you are a representative. Therefore, it is better to go to a business meeting after a recommendation from an authority figure.

Double barrier lies in the fact that we involuntarily judge each person by ourselves, we expect from a business partner the same act that we would do in his place. And then we become indignant: “I would never do that!” In fact of the matter. I! But he is different.

Communication barriers

Incompetence One of the partners causes a feeling of annoyance, a feeling of lost time.

Inability partner clearly and consistently Express your thoughts It really interferes with communication.

Poor speaking technique of the partner, slurred speech, patter, a very quiet or, conversely, shrill voice can infuriate anyone.

Inability to listen manifests itself in the fact that the partner interrupts, begins to talk about his own things, or goes into his own thoughts and does not react at all to your words. You can compensate for your partner’s inability to listen only with your art of speaking.

Modality barrier. Ignorance of the fact that each person has his own priority channel of perception.

First: “Imagine...”

Second: “Listen to me...”

Character barrier also creates difficulties in communication. People with pronounced temperamental characteristics can be awkward interlocutors.

Mobile interlocutor(extrovert - sanguine) thinks quickly, speaks quickly, jumps from one topic to another, because everything seems clear to him. It’s difficult to follow the progress of his reasoning, but you can’t interrupt—he gets angry. It is recommended to let such an interlocutor speak to the end and only then clarify something or even return to the beginning of the conversation. Such people should be valued as generators of ideas.

Dominant interlocutor(extrovert - choleric) likes to lead in conversation. He speaks loudly, in a peremptory tone, and insists on his opinion. Trying to put such an interlocutor in his place will result in a conflict. It is better, remaining unconvinced, to allow him to express himself as he wants, and then at the decisive moment to quietly but firmly insist on his own, and if he agrees (perhaps he is right), then with dignity.

Rigid interlocutor(introvert - phlegmatic) - “sedentary” interlocutor. He thinks slowly and discusses the circumstances of the case in detail. Everything has been clear to you for a long time, but you cannot push it. These people are valuable as experts or critics of ideas, and you just need to be patient when talking with them.

Passive interlocutor(introvert - melancholic) does not reveal his reaction, does not speak out. It is difficult to carry on a conversation with him. You should use the active listening method: ask questions, paraphrase, etc. and try to find out his opinion. Silence is not always a sign of consent.

If you encounter bad manners and rudeness

"Alien Role"- put yourself in the position of this person, look at the situation through his eyes. Once you tell the person: “I understand you,” it becomes possible to have a constructive conversation.

Sympathetic attitude to your indignant partner when you chime in: “Yes, yes, you’re right.”

Self-blame technique works well when a partner screams because he is wrong. You apologize and, as a rule, your partner calms down in bewilderment. And then he starts to apologize himself!

Tensions can be eased as a joke. But it only gives the desired effect when you are sure that your partner has a sense of humor.

Techniques of "detachment": unobtrusively examine the screamer, focusing on some little detail in his costume, or look at his hairstyle. You can think about his marital status, age, favorite pastime...

How to overcome communication barriers

Respect your interlocutor, no matter who he is.

Try to understand what causes a person’s behavior that is unpleasant to us.

Throughout our lives, we communicate with each other every day. For some, this communication is easy and simple, but for others, finding a common language with others seems like an impossible task. Why is this happening? After all, we all seem to speak the same language, which means we must understand each other. It turns out that in the process of communication, not only words carry a semantic load - they play an equally important role

Barriers that arise in communication are obstacles that grow in the way of understanding the interlocutor. This kind of obstacle can be a person’s temperament, his character, emotional state, as well as communication manners.

Types of barriers to communication

The psychology of communication barriers is divided into four main types: situational, motivational, semantic and psychological communication barriers. So, let's look at each type separately.

1. Situational barriers– arise due to different views of partners on the same problem. For example, one interlocutor may treat a group of noisy children discussing a topic with understanding and sympathy, while the other partner will be annoyed by the noise coming from the children without delving into the essence of the conversation.
2. Motivational barriers– arise when a person hides the real motives of his statements, or simply does not realize their significance.
3. Semantic barriers- arise due to a lack of understanding of the essence of the conversation of your interlocutor. Difficulties and barriers to communication, in this case, arise when a person cannot understand the partner’s thoughts and does not catch where the conversation is going.
4. Psychological barriers are a kind of internal barrier that inhibits a person’s communication. Most often, it appears due to the fear of being misunderstood, not being liked by the interlocutor, or running into malicious ridicule from a partner and being rejected, despite the most sincere manifestations of good intentions.

Communication barriers in communication

Communication barriers in communication arise due to internal psychological obstacles and external phenomena that stand in the way of accepting or transmitting information between interlocutors.

Since there is no single classification of communication barriers, we will consider two main types of this barrier:

1. External communication barriers– not only people are to blame for the appearance of these barriers, but also some circumstances, physical conditions that do not depend on the will of people and are not subject to the control of the people leading the conversation. The cause may be not only loud noise or unfavorable weather conditions, but also misunderstanding due to the fact that the interlocutors speak different languages.
2. Internal communication barriers are a much more complex problem that needs to be fought long and hard. An internal barrier may arise due to reasons that prevent you from objectively assessing the information received from your interlocutor. They can be either banal irritation of a partner against the background of his appearance, or personal hostility towards a person as an individual.

Communication barriers in business communication can be detrimental to your career, so they need to be overcome. In fact, they are present exactly until the moment you decide to get rid of them and think about it. Practice overcoming communication barriers, pay more attention to your interlocutor and show genuine interest, then communication barriers will forever be a thing of the past for you.

It is almost impossible to manage in our lives without barriers to interpersonal communication, unless we communicate only with people we like, and this, you understand, is not always possible. The task facing each member of society is to determine the type of their barrier of misunderstanding in the communication process and apply the most effective way to eliminate it. To eliminate barriers to communication, always try to be confident in yourself, calm and tolerant of other people’s weaknesses, and also prevent conflicts from brewing!

In the process of people communicating with each other, various difficulties arise that hinder effective communication. In psychology, these obstacles are called psychological communication barriers. Any psychological barrier is always protection from any information that is undesirable for the individual. Psychological barriers to communication arise when one or another structural element falls out of the general structure of the communicative process and severely blocks interpersonal communication.

Communication barrier is a socio-psychological phenomenon that manifests itself as a certain result of a person’s experience of communication difficulties.

In psychology, there are various types of psychological barriers to communication.

1. Barriers to the perception of another person, people, information, situation. The communication barrier of perception arises due to the fact that general properties and patterns of perception operate - selectivity, directionality and others. As a result, the perceived information is distorted.

2. Barriers to understanding another person, people, situations, information are features of individual intellectual activity based on a variety of knowledge and experience of the individual.

M.R. Bityanova identifies the following types of communication barriers that prevent the perception and understanding of information by people entering into communication: phonetic, semantic, stylistic, logical, sociocultural and relational barriers.

Phonetic barrier occurs when the rate of speech, emotional coloring, features of diction or any other extra- and paralinguistic characteristics of speech do not allow one to adequately perceive its content. This barrier always arises in situations where people speak different languages ​​unfamiliar to each other.

Semantic (notional) barriers understanding of perceived information arises due to differences in knowledge of the meanings of words, symbols, etc. used and the ability to understand their situational meaning.

A semantic (meaning) barrier arises in cases when one of the communicating uses jargon or slang expressions in his speech that are not understandable to other participants in the act of communication. Jargon and slang are systems of speech that are used in certain social groups of society. There is professional jargon, youth slang, criminal jargon, etc. Medical workers often use their professional jargon words and expressions in everyday communication with each other, but the use of such words in communication with a patient and/or his relatives creates a semantic communication barrier and is ethically unacceptable.

In a broad sense, a semantic communication barrier is an inadequate understanding of the meaning and significance of the information being transmitted. Each word and expression has a specific meaning and meaning, which must be used equally by participants in communication. The relationship between meaning and personal meaning was deeply studied in the works of A.N. Leontyev. “Unlike meanings, personal meanings... do not have their own “supra-individual”, their “non-psychological” existence. If external sensuality connects meanings in the consciousness of the subject with the reality of the objective world, then personal meaning connects them with the reality of his very life in this world, with its motives. Personal meaning creates the partiality of human consciousness.” Personal meaning, i.e. What acquires special significance for a person is that which connects the goals of an activity with the motives for its implementation, that in which his needs are imprinted. The same word, action, circumstance can have different meanings for different people. Use of metaphors, allegories, aphorisms, sayings, figurative expressions, etc. carries the risk of misunderstanding the meaning of the information that the communicator currently wants to convey to the interlocutor.

Stylistic barrier occurs under the condition of untimely, inappropriate use of words and expressions. The speech of a health worker and his behavior become inappropriate in cases of violation of ethical standards, manifestations of tactlessness, indifference, neglect of the interests and psychological state of patients and/or their relatives. Addressing an elderly or senile patient using the words “grandmother” or “grandfather” can be regarded by the patient as familiar, disrespectful and will create a stylistic communicative barrier in communication.

Barrier of logical misunderstanding is a consequence of different levels of education, characteristics of thinking and intelligence. The logic of reasoning between the patient and the medical worker may be different even when discussing simple issues of a diagnostic, treatment, rehabilitation or preventive nature. Differences in educational characteristics and level of intelligence may be different, including a higher level in the patient compared to the level of the health worker. This communication barrier can only be overcome by constant self-improvement, increased professional qualifications, and psychological competence of the medical worker.

Sociocultural communication barriers arise when communicating with people of certain professions, nationalities, gender, age, social status, and religious affiliation. These barriers are overcome by a critical attitude towards existing social stereotypes and prejudices in society and strict adherence to professional ethical standards.

Communication barrier of relationships arises due to the fact that a person, in the process of perceiving and knowing other people, develops a certain attitude towards them, which reflects his subjective assessment of the people he knows. This attitude towards the participants in communication, both positive and negative, always influences the perception and understanding of the information transmitted by this person, especially in the case of excessive emotional manifestation of this attitude.

Psychological characteristics of a person in the process of communication become barriers to people’s perception, understanding and knowledge of each other, and the establishment of stable constructive relationships. Such features include those that, for better or worse, distinguish a person from the general mass of other people. Talented, extraordinary individuals often have non-standard forms of behavior, which is perceived by people around them as a violation of the established order, disregard for current social norms and creates difficulties in communication. The perception of everything new and unusual requires flexibility of thinking from the individual, the ability to re-evaluate one’s values, change ideas and beliefs, the need to learn new things and enrich one’s life experience. The perception and understanding of information in the process of communication depend on the ability to accurately convey its meaning using verbal, non-verbal and mediating means of communication, i.e. on the communication abilities of the individual.

Negative personality traits that manifest themselves in communication with other people significantly complicate the communication process and lead to conflicts. Selfish orientation of the individual, high self-esteem, infantilism, emotional imbalance, etc. always become a psychological barrier in understanding other people and constructively communicating with them.

Communication style, i.e. the psychological position that the participants in the act of communication take in relation to each other determines the psychological boundaries and barriers of this process. An authoritarian, directive style of communication involves the use of an order form when transmitting information of various contents. Such forms of expressions as “Bring it!”, “Shut up!”, “Do as I say,” etc. cause psychological resistance and create tension in relationships between people.

People's understanding of each other becomes difficult under the influence of situational emotional factors. A person may initially be in a state of experiencing strong, both positive and negative emotions, but may also find himself in such a state if a communication partner conveys emotionally significant information or uses means of its transmission that cause emotional experiences (words, expressions, gestures, facial expressions) etc.). People can express very significant, psychologically traumatic information politely and correctly, but negative emotions will arise and affect the further process of communication.

Volkova... P. 202.

Volkova………..S. 201.

Andreeva G.M. Social psychology: Textbook for higher educational institutions / G.M. Andreeva. – 5th ed., rev. and additional – M.: Aspect Press, 2002. P. 123.

Hello, dear readers of my blog! As you already know from the article, man is a social being, and communication plays a significant role in his development, success, achievements and, in general, life. But sometimes something happens, and it becomes difficult to establish contact with others, achieve mutual understanding and generally build relationships. There is readiness, but there is no opportunity. And today I invite you to consider the options for these difficulties, the so-called barriers to communication, in more detail, as well as ways to overcome them.

What types of barriers are there?

The barrier in communication itself is often called an “invisible wall” that arises between partners and prevents them from understanding each other, “seeing” the other as he is, and sometimes even themselves. Barriers can be communicative, that is, related to the exchange of information, perceptual, responsible for perception and understanding, and personal.

1.Communicative

Any conversation has the following components: the one who transmits the information, who receives it directly, the communication channel itself with the help of which this process becomes possible. Do you know the game “broken phone”? In this game, participants take turns telling each other a story, for example. In the process of transmitting information, this story can be distorted beyond recognition, when the entire meaning of what the first participant said is lost. Usually the last player in the chain comes up with a completely illogical and confusing option.

It's fun to play around, but if you think about it, how much value are we losing? When the most important thing is distorted, it becomes sad and even scary. So, the difficulties that arise during communication:

Logical barrier

This is the inability to formulate your thoughts, express them more clearly and understandably. Sometimes a person is simply unable to find words and confuses concepts. There is simply no causal-logical connection in his speech, when it becomes completely unclear to the interlocutor what he is saying and why. The monologue can be long and complex, in which interest is lost. In this case, the energy declines and subsequently leads to the fact that he does not make an attempt to listen carefully and rethink what was said.

Semantic

When everyone puts their own meaning into concepts, sometimes completely opposite to the opinion of their partner. This happens due to the life experience, internal qualities, level of development and lifestyle of each person. And if you do not initially clarify what exactly such a concept means for another, then difficulties may well arise in the process of interaction.

For example, the most banal thing is, what is love? For one woman, its manifestation will be constant confessions, tenderness and romantic gifts, while for another woman it is, oddly enough, jealousy with violence. And then, when communicating on the topic of love, inaccuracies will arise in the dialogue, even to the point of conflict, if both sides do not try to clarify the differences in the internal picture of the world and the meaning put into ordinary and seemingly clear concepts to everyone. It is especially difficult due to microcultures that use jargons and slang in their speech that are clear only to their native speakers.

Phonetic

Emotional

When, having received any information, a person attaches more importance to his feelings. Because of this, he misses the real facts and the general meaning of what was said, which makes the interaction process more complicated.

2. Perceptual

They are associated with the perception of each other and the formation of an assessment of another or a situation, as a result of which mutual understanding is established.

• Aesthetic – if you don’t like the way your interlocutor looks, just his appearance or sloppiness, then this will greatly influence our understanding of him and what he says.
• There is an evaluation effect when our opinion about the interlocutor is influenced by previously received negative information, which cancels out the existing opinion about him, even if it is untrue. It is very difficult then to discern the truth and the real character of a person. Everything he says is sometimes devalued and considered a lie.
• Negative emotions . Has it happened that we read a “bad mood” as an attitude towards us, although in fact the reasons could be completely unrelated to our personality and behavior? For example, the team perceived the new boss as aggressive or “dry.” Although in fact he had difficulties in his family, which is why he was depressed in the first days of work. Or a friend suddenly became less close and attentive to you due to an internal crisis. But you regarded it as misunderstanding and unwillingness to continue the relationship. Because many people take negative emotions personally. Even the rudeness of an unfamiliar salesperson sometimes deeply hurts if you relate it directly to the perception of your personality, ignoring the fact that he does not know you, and is simply in a bad mood because of a previous client who was rude.
• Social . A significant obstacle to correct perception is also the social status of the interlocutors. When someone is biased towards the opinion of a lower-ranking person, or vice versa, does not evaluate and doubt the words of the leader, considering, by definition, his opinion to be more correct due to fear of disobeying, low self-esteem, etc.

3.Psychological

These are personality traits that influence the communication process. Most often they are invisible, but are perceived negatively by others. And if a person notices his differences and difficulties in maintaining a conversation, this often leads to the development of complexes.

Modality

We receive information from the outside through the five senses, and each person has one type that predominates. There are auditory learners, they perceive better by hearing, kinesthetic learners - with the help of sensations, and visual learners find it easier to remember what they see. Therefore, when speaking between representatives of different modalities, difficulties may arise.

Fear of contact

The very thought of having to start a conversation with a stranger causes a lot of anxiety, which will subsequently prevent you from formulating your thoughts, and will subsequently only strengthen your complexes.

Expectation of misunderstanding

A person, based on previous traumatic experience, begins to anticipate events, that is, he becomes convinced in advance that he will not be understood. Such forecasting subsequently makes it difficult to adequately assess the situation. This is because fixation on one’s beliefs prevents one from seeing the real situation.

Have you noticed how sometimes people actively argue and are so carried away by their idea that they do not notice that they are talking about the same thing?

Unwillingness to listen and hear

That is, when a person relies only on his judgments, defends them and cannot adapt to changes. This is a very serious obstacle to interpersonal communication. Because the inability to listen to other people, the reluctance to recognize and get to know them will, over time, lead to a deterioration in even the closest relationships and a reluctance to communicate.

Projection or transference

These are types of barriers and psychological defenses. When a person attributes to another qualities or emotions that he himself experiences and has. Sometimes the opposite happens: he does not accept something in himself, for example, aggressiveness, and then he often notices it in others, but denies its presence in himself. But a kind and sympathetic person is not able to notice the realities of the world, that others can betray, deceive and be cruel to him, living, as they say, with “rose-colored glasses”.

Sometimes someone may resemble in appearance or type of behavior some acquaintance or relative. Then feelings that are not at all connected with him in the present will be transferred to him. For example, a boss outwardly reminds an employee of an oppressive father, although in reality he is very loyal and supportive. But every time she will feel fear in his presence and expect that now he will swear and criticize her work.

Age

It occurs very often in everyday life between people of different generations. I wrote in the article. It is the cause of misunderstanding and conflicts in the system of parent-child relationships, and the biased perception of young employees, who may be more developed, but are devalued due to lack of experience.

Primacy effect

You've heard that the first opinion is the most correct? And sometimes, because of this belief, a person will be ready to refute what happens next, adhering to judgments of the first impression. This makes it very difficult to establish contact, because the interlocutor will constantly have to come across an already created image, where there will be no place for the real one and he will have to spend maximum effort to overcome it.

The desire to make a premature conclusion about the identity of another

This happens for various reasons, most often due to the fear of being disappointed or “pleasing your narcissistic part.” That is, when a person believes that he knows a lot of things and understands people well. For example, a woman who really wants a family and meets a man she likes, at the very first meeting she understands that she agrees to live her life with him. Just because, for some reason, he reminded her of a man who is capable of loving and caring for his family.

Not knowing anything really about him, and then subsequently will be disappointed, or still ignore situations in which he does not correspond to the prematurely created image.

How to determine?

During verbal communication, in addition to the internal feeling that something wrong is happening and you or you are not understood, there are also non-verbal signs by which you can also notice the presence of difficulties. To understand them better, I recommend.

• Facial expressions. If your partner's face is tense or he expresses conflicting emotions. That is, a smile resembles a grin, because with sincerity, small wrinkles, the so-called “crow’s feet,” appear in the corners of the eyes.
• Pose. A closed pose, when legs or arms are crossed, a person completely turns away from you or demonstrates excessive relaxation - beacons that you should think about what is happening.
• Gestures. When there are sudden, too fast movements, or your hands are clenched into fists, hidden under the table, think about whether you should suddenly take a break or change tactics.
• Sight. It can be empty, that is, absent, they look at you as if through you. Too long, or vice versa, “running”.

How to overcome?

I have described in detail the main ways in which it is possible to establish communication. Here I will add a little directly about how to overcome the obstacles that have arisen.

1. Don't be afraid to be why. If something is not entirely clear or illogical to you, ask a question. Remember, everyone has different concepts of the simplest things? Also keep track of how easy you are to understand. If you formulate overly complex sentences, just think about why you need to be confusing and difficult for others to understand? What does this give you? Please clarify whether you are understood at the moment? When asking questions, add that you want to hear him correctly, so you ask again.
2. If semantics and slang are different, use the same words and expressions; this technique will help to establish contact and win you over.
3. If you notice obstacles on the part of your interlocutor, use the active listening technique, I wrote about it
4. Train your empathy and learn to accept otherness. For many, it is important to simply feel support and acceptance, and not advice or recommendations for action. The ability to empathize and put yourself in the place of another greatly simplifies the process of interaction. Respect the opinion of another person, it has the right to be, because in the same situation everyone has their own truth.
5. Don't expect much from your partners, and also allow yourself to be yourself. After all, the fear of not meeting expectations provokes anger and anxiety, which subsequently causes disappointment, and all these feelings do not at all contribute to lively and close relationships.
6. When receiving information, one should sometimes make distinctions, that is, separate emotions from facts, leaving emotions and evaluation aside, then it is possible to achieve objectivity and a correct interpretation of what was said.